Three Years, and the pain is getting manageable

Lissa died three years and two days ago. Suicide destroyed my life three years and two days ago. I wanted to write this post two days ago, but honestly, I couldn’t. It wasn’t an easy day for several reasons, not just because of the anniversary of her death.

It hurts less. The ball of grief has gotten smaller, and the button of pain isn’t pushed as often. I don’t cry anymore. Maybe I’ve gone slightly numb, I don’t know. I almost feel like I can’t cry over it anymore. What good does it do? She’s gone. And she’d want me to live my life to the fullest without wallowing in her mistakes.

And I am. I am living my life. I’m forcing suicide to not destroy my existence. Suicide will not get the better of me. Even though suicide sucks and it’s literally the WORST, I’m not going to let it bring me down.

And so I will fight. And I want you all to fight with me. Fight by being the one to reach out. Talk about your feelings so that others feel more comfortable talking about theirs. Talk about your hard times so that people know they aren’t alone. Share my book with others so that they know how much it hurts to have someone you love commit suicide.

Make mental illness normal! Understand that it’s not something that’s just going to go away if you stop talking about it! That only compounds the problem. Let people know you care. In a world where you can be anything, be one who knows people, who understands people, who knows what others are going through and will help them push through it.

Always remember that you are loved. You are needed. You are wanted. You are amazing. The world is a better place with you in it and it would be a far sadder place without you.