To Understand

To understand bipolar disorder, you almost have to get into the mind if someone who has it. Which is actually something I normally wouldn’t recommend. Trust me. My mind can be a scary place. Anyone with a mental disorder would likely tell you the same thing. But if you want to understand, for whatever reason, whether it be because you suspect you might have a mental illness, or you know someone who does, this is a good place to be. I’ll be telling you my experience, but I also hope to get others who have different experiences on here with interviews or podcasts, depends on what they feel comfortable with.

I’m writing a book where I share many of my own experiences in fiction form. I include the struggle to realize and accept I have a mental illness. I also will include the struggle I went through and all of the medications that I went through to figure out that it was actually bipolar and not depression. I start with my mental breakdown and go from there. I’ve been asked several times why God gave me this particular challenge and to be honest I don’t know. But if I can help one person feel better if I can help one person not go through the hell I went through then all of my experiences will have been worth it and I’ll be happy. The good news is, I’m in a good place now. I have a loving husband, an adorable son, and life is pretty good. But it took a long time to get here. And it does. It does take a long time to get to a good place sometimes. Sometimes you get misdiagnosed and sometimes (most the time) you get the wrong medication at first. You might find a therapist you hate or one you love. It’s a difficult process. But I got through it. Which means that anyone can get through it. I believe in you.

I’ve chosen the name of this blog after the talk that Elder Jeffrey R Holland gave in the latest General Conference talk, which was an amazing talk. “Jesus listening can hear the songs we cannot sing”. There have been so many times in my life when I haven’t been able to sing any songs. I feel I’m getting to a place where I can. And so I will.